Tuesday, February 15, 2011
We thank our stars we are alive and loved.
A month and a half! And this space has sat so quietly, so patiently for me. I've been trying to hit the books, the real estate books, to no avail. I failed miserably at a test this weekend. Standardized tests are just not my thing (plus the content is SO boring), I've accepted this, now I must move on and ultimately come up with a solution on how to pass because I must pass.
The house hunt continues. I found a place (FINALLY) last weekend. The view was epic. I didn't get it. I found a studio last Thursday. It was cute, a bit far out, but it will do, so perfect for me, just my style. I haven't heard back. I have four to view in the next few days and my heart's just not in it....I am reserved, skeptical. I think it's my karma. But I must remain resilient. To make matters worse, I was paid today by the new company and it wasn't pretty, corporate and new salaried position translates to a lot of 401K, health insurance and taxes diminishing my small salary. I think I have to rethink my apartment budget.
Last night, well Linda (my housemate/aunt/benefactor) has told me to not tell many people, but last night I witnessed a shooting. I had a moment of, 'is this for real?' when I saw the gun and the fire/light coming from it when it was being shot, to 'holy shit, what the hell just happened' right after the shooting finished, followed by a few tears and mumblings of 'I'm alive' and thankful I was the first to get off the bus, thankful I walk swiftly. A mother dropped to the ground, people scattered and there was this eerie silence followed by police sirens within minutes. I've been to some crazy places in the world and some sketchy lonely streets, it's just so close to home, utter realization as to how violent our American culture really is....there were only teenagers mingling by the bus stop when shots were fired.
Finally, today is Valentine's day and let's just say, I'm a little lonely. I put on my best face and a heart skirt too. I sent out a few cards and tried to love myself, but it's no fun being solo at times, no fun at all, especially when my boss comes in to tell me her husband surprised her with an amazing handbag she mentioned when walking through Barney's and the new gal's husband at work brought her this ridiculously large bouquet of flowers along with six tulips for each of the ladies in my office, an act which won the hearts of our five hesitant, 'we don't like newbies' selves. It was nice, so very nice, but it left me feeling without.
So in hindsight as I write this long catch up, I've got goals, and I've got a lot to do, so I better get to it.
Sorry this is so random!
Image from are2 tumblr.
at 2:32 AM